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News > Careers Advice > You, Me, Same Same....

You, Me, Same Same....


You Me, Same Same...


You probably know that I am the biggest fan of the Harvard Business Review.  There was a brilliant article at the end of September on building rapport. Rapport lies at the heart of successful networking. If you are on ConnectTormead you already have one thing in common with each other but is there more?  Christina Hillsberg talks about her experiences moving from the CIA to a private sector role in threat intelligence and the challenges she faced. When we are in the workplace so much of our rapport comes from shared work experiences and values, but what if we can't talk freely about these? This puts a real dent in trust. Add being a woman in a traditionally male field it is perhaps not surprising that there was little support in meetings and for new ideas,


Christina Hillsberg talks candidly about how she realised that rapport and trust would have to come from building rapport on non-work issues before she would find herself with sufficient allies to gain acceptance for her workplace ventures. In the CIA she learned a technique called You Me, Same Same where you find genuine common ground on which to build a bond and ultimately trust.  This takes some work but here are the 5 building blocks for success:

Make yourself well rounded. In finding common ground you need something to work with. Set time aside to try and experience new things.

Be your authentic self. Don't pretend to be interested if you are not. My advice here - you don't need to be interested in the thing itself, merely interested in why someone finds it fascinating.

Listen. You will need to talk to establish rapport but keep the balance right.

Give to get. Share something about yourself first to open doors.

Take notes so next time you meet someone you can immediately recall and reference what you remember.

Here is the article. Do have a read and do share your top tips for building rapport:


Cathy Williams



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